help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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