he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Alive.
So much puke
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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