i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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