is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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