you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
