just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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