I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How naked do you want me to be?
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