I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Another day, another engagement, another cat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Holy sore nipples Batman
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
