if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
