I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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