You really coming over, don't trick.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
