I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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