Only a mothe r could love this liver
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
