So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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