Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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