About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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