it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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