Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
