my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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