She said her name was "party"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
