Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
