I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
