My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
