found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
