He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
