If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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