In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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