yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
