Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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