Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
