I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
