you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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