I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
