I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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