I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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