Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am available for nakedness
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
