you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You did what with his pubic hair?
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