I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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