Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
there is glitter all over my balls
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
