quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
