Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found puke in my bra..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
