okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
