Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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