There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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