So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
