she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
NoShamevember. You game?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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