I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
