i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
