i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
