your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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