mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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