her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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