After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
