i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
