Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
