ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
