he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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