I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I am mentally ready for anal.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
