Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
