i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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